©Carter Chill 2020

On October 14, 1987, a little girl fell into a well in Midland, Texas.  For the next two and a half days the entire country was caught up in the life and death struggle of little “Baby Jessica” the 18 month old infant trapped in the well. The rescue received twenty-four hour a day coverage from CNN and the nascent Fox News presaging the kind of saturation news cycle that would characterize the Gulf War and 9/11.  There were no split screen talking heads ranting about the political agenda of Baby Jessica, no sidebar features with probing investigations into the personal lives of the rescue workers. There were no pickets or protesters screaming at each other outside the police tape. Nobody suggested that Baby Jessica was fake news.

A baby girl stuck in a well is pretty much a cultural marker that defies even the lowest and mea n spirited among us. There is no “fir it” or “agin it” when it comes to a baby in a well. I imagine it’s been that way since the dawn of humans.  If a baby drops into a well, you fish it out. God knows , because it was usually his idea to begin with,  that a few babies were chucked into wells on purpose in order to ensure good wheat yields.

But for a few days in 1987, it was almost universally agreed that a baby falling into a well was a bad thing, and getting her out was a good thing.  For a few days, nobody thought about Iran Contra, or the Unabomber, the NFL Strike, Stock Markets or Bernhard Goetz.  It was Baby Jessica and did we get her out yet. Now this was not a case of just lowering a rope.  She had slipped into an eight inch pipe casing, surrounded by rock, stuck tight with one leg over her head. Jessica, and the rest of the nation endured fifty-six hours of heartbreaking uncertainty.  The rescuers heard her softly singing Winnie the Pooh down in that lonely, dark well.

But eventually, they figured out how to do it. With the cameras rolling, a paramedic was slowly hoisted out of that black hole carrying Baby Jessica. She almost glowed. And for that moment, just for a very small fleeting instant, that act of group compassion galvanized an entire society into one common sigh of relief., and an uncommon unity of spirit that was simple yet profound.

Good….One less thing to worry about….Drinks on me.

Compared to 2020, 1987 was a walk in the park. Covid 19 was rampant, killing almost 1.73 million people globally. Small businesses are dropping like flies, and everyone is stuck at home making sourdough bread. Joe Biden was elected president but Donald Trump is engaged in an unprecedented losers’ pout that has everyone wondering if he will drop a deuce in the walk-in closet before the Biden’s move in. In the meantime, everyone is pissed off. Nutcases are the order of the day, screaming fake news, fake elections, and fake pandemics. WAKE UP PEOPLE! In 2020 no one is shaking hands, and it has nothing to do with the pandemic.

If 2020 was a horse, we would take it out behind the barn and shoot it.

Compassion is like a muscle. It must be exercised from time to time or it atrophies into emotional lockjaw.  I’m talking about compassion that isn’t confined to like minded politics, or new friends you meet picketing. I’m talking about finding something, anything, that might remind us that we do have some common values.

So here’s my idea.

I suggest we pitch a baby girl down a well every once in a while, so we can remember what shared values might feel like.  Put Mitch McConnel and Nancy Pelosi in charge of the rescue. Donald Trump and Joe Biden would hold daily press conferences to update the media. CNN and Fox would provide 24/7 coverage of the rescue.

I can picture a scenario where McConnel and Pelosi are working out the final details together, their faces streaked with mud and concern, and masks). McConnel lowers Pelosi carefully down the well, while the paramedics standby. (Six feet apart.), Trump and Biden are handling the media and both seem genuinely distraught over the poor little girl’s dilemma. (Though Trump can’t resist describing the rescue as the best rescue ever.) CNN and Fox pool their resources to bring viewers the most accurate coverage possible.

When they bring the baby girl out of the well, everybody hugs each other. (Yeah, I’m thinking next year might be better)

Of course things could go horribly wrong. Mitch McConnel might claim that real Americans don’t need the government to dig them out of a hole. Nancy Pelosi might decide that an EPA superfund assessment is required before we rescue her

Donald Trump would question her birth certificate and claim she voted twice in Georgia. Joe Biden would stand around shrugging his shoulders. CNN and Fox crews would break out into a brawl trying to get the first live interview from a baby in a well. Attorneys for Disney would file copyright infringement suits for unauthorized use of Winnnie the Pooh.

Yeah,. On second thought, it’s a pretty bad idea.